3.16.2009

An Open Letter to Karen O.

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Dear Karen,

May I call you Karen? I figured I could drop the "O." since I've been up, down, backwards, and forwards in obsession with you.

You see, Karen, in college, I cut my hair, sported fingerless gloves, and wore fishnet stockings with holes in them just to be like you. I dressed like you for Halloween. Guess what. No one knew I was dressed up! Ha, Karen! LOL, Karen! I saw you in concert numerous times...what's that, Karen? You didn't see me? That's too bad. My college self would be very distraught.

I even came thisclose to getting that same damn tattoo. Thank goodness I didn't, Karen! You know why?

YOUR NEW ALBUM SUCKS!!

That's right. And to be honest, I didn't mean to hurt your feelings writing it all in caps with that gratuitous extra exclamation point. I guess I just got a little carried away.

Look, Kar, it's not the worst album ever made. I'm sure some people love select disco-y dance numbers (even though newcomers MGMT are doing it better). It's just that you set the bar so high! Everything leading up to it was promising--I loved "Show Your Bones". The EP released a bit before this album, "Is Is", was fantastic.

So, what happened? Nick's licks are mere tongue flutters. The lyrics are dry and one-dimensional. "Off with your head, d-d-dance 'til you're dead"? Puh-lease. And those fluffy, soft, sloooooow songs? Boring with a capital B! Talents aside, I'm annoyed that I paid full price for half an album--why does it consist of half original material and half acoustic covers of the same songs?

I really thought my month would be made with this new album. Back and forth from work--who doesn't like a little sugar in their CD player to make the endless traffic loosen its grip on their sanity?

Signed,

Your EX EX bff M.

"It's Blitz" album cover via yeahyeahyeahs.com:
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